life have been really painful for me...

3 months ago...
i made a new friend..

everything went so well that is just like a dream come true..
we talked..
we met..
we laughed...
we joked...
we fell for each other..

less than a month later..
we became one..
those early days filled with lots of love and passion...
never will i ever erase them from my memories...
days became weeks...

once...
we were fighting strongly together..
my parents wanted us to be separated...
and we manage to pulled through...

that was when
i learn courage...
i learn patience...
i learn to understand one's heart...
i felt love...

however...
weeks only became a month...

never did i realised..
our days were coming to an end...
it was already at the verge of the cliff..

non stop fighting..
misunderstanding..
little time for each other...

i was in my fantasy...
deeply in love...
but yet again...
i failed to save it...

i never knew what was it about..
never knew the reason why...
why when i needed the presence most...
why when i needed the love most...
why when i needed the care n support most..
and the questions are still left not answered...

left..
left my heart shattered..

i tried to forget the name...
i tried to forget the face...
i tried to forget the touch...
i tried to forget the days...
i tried...


one after another...
it just doesnt stop..

now i lost a pearl...
it hurts terribly this time...

the pearl means dearly to me...
i put the word trust on it..
i treasured it for few years now...

however..
nothing stays forever..

becuz of me...
becuz of my words..
becuz of my inconsiderations..
i accidentally scratched the pearl...

i realised i was selfish..
i was jealous..
but..
i should have stepped down...
and allow everthing...

i was already a nobody..
who am i to stop...

but i cant bear the pain...
i had to...
i trusted it sooo much...

and now i dont know what to do...
how do i face it...

im confused!...

i miss those days...

i miss my pearl...

tears keep flowing...

heart still aching...

what do i do...






three questions constantly being asked...
and wanting the answer soo much...
-have u deleted me ?
-why do u hate me so much ?
is it becuz i hurt u..or is it becuz i hurt her ??

-why did u do this to me when
u know i still have feelings for him ???