HAISH!!...

god knows how painful my heart is...
no matter what i do...
i just cant stop it from flowing...

WAT DID I DO THAT I HAVE TO FACE THIS?
WHICH PART WAS MY FAULT?

im already all prepared..
got the dress ready...
the shoe at the door step..
all waiting for me to put them on...

but it all ends up putting them back into the closet..


it was all because of a stupid unreasonable reason!..

mami's fwen decided to use the car..
and fucking enuf she allows...

I AM PISSED ABT IT!!...

but what did i do that suddenly change ur mind not meeting me ??
just because u cant use the car ???

GOSH!!!!

heart really pain arhh!!

even if there's no car..
cANt u just meet me?

i miisss euu!!!

argh!..
fuck lah...

thanks arh mami...
*applaused*

baby!..

i love euu
with all my heart



yes i do!
no matter wat we're facing...
no matter how bz i cud be...
no matter how temperamental u are...
no matter how many fights we alrd had...
i still want to stick with euu!

i have been testing ur patience..
but i hope ur love for me is still strong...
and i know it is...

thanks baby!...
for everything
esp FIFI!...

he's my savior

nearly deaf hearing my screams..
gets wet shoulders when i cry..
breathless everytime i hug...
blushes till red when i kiss...

yet he never push me away!..

he's where i go to when i miss u sooo much...
(more like a 2nd papa, only that he's OUR baby)
gosh!..
ahahha





im talking like as if he's a real baby
arent i ?
ahahhaa...
i just love him so much, that's all...



but i love u much MUCH MORE!!...
and i miss euu..
MUACKZ!

PAPA bought for MAMA teddy bearr!!!..
our baby boy's name......FIFI!!!
woohooo!!..
follow papa's name..
baby kesygan papa lah kn..

anyyway!...

the reason of FIFI's presence...

fought all night..

pa..i know u love me soo much..

but plzz dont be too jealouss..

and yeahh...

guess wT..

I WONT LEAVE EUU NO MATTER WAT...

CUZ I KNOW U TOO DONT WANT ME TO LET GO!..

pa...i love uu soo muchh...

if u keep saying someone out there is better than u...

and can love me the way im supposed to..

it will really hurt me and the relationship alot..

im serious..

cuzz there no one out there is better than EUU!..

in the morn..

we continued!!!!!

it was like

DAMMIT!!!

for god sakkee...

bt still...we met each otherr...

and fought on the phone just to find the bloody 7eleven!!

bt gueesss watt!..

upon reaching...

papa present mama...FIFI !!!!!...

our BABY!!

i was soooo touuchhedd!!!...

and it made me cry!..

all that fighting and ur nonsense of wanting to break up...

really disappoint me alot..

but athough after all that..

u still gave me a bear just to say soorrriiee!!!

awww!! just to show how much u love me..

maner tak cryy oiii!!!..

and this is FIFI!!

baby..
sometimes i can really get confused...
dont understand whats going on..

one moment u are the guy i fell in love with...
ur jokes.
ur laugh.
ur smile.
they just brightens up my day..

but the next moment..
u become moody ??
papa..plz pa..
if mama have done something wrong..
tell mama..
so that mama can actually know what i did that made u angry...

i dont want u to be all moody and upset everytime...
talk to me kzz pa if u have anything in ur mind..
i love euu so muuch!
and i know u do too..

its been ages since i last blogged.
and maybe this could be my last post.


i kept on hurting ppl for no reasons.
it hurts me even more cuz they are my lovelies.
esp towards him.

i never meant to do all that.

but maybe its just me.
no matter how hard i try to prevent,
i still keep on hurting.

i know hes reaching his limits.
im very sure of that.

the way he talk.
the way he look.
im sure hes really hurt deep inside.
even made him shed tears.
but never once when we fought he stopped saying he loves me.

he still gives me the warmest hugs.
the sweetest smiles.
the perfect kisses.

having the sense of security whenever he holds my hand tightly.

i should be grateful to have him by my side.
and i am.
hes my onenonly.
i hope he knows how much i love him.
i miss him soo dearly.
i never meant to hurt him.







i shall stop here.
to me,
writing never show the writers true feelings.
and people tend to misunderstand.










baby,iLOVEeuuVERYYMUCH!!
if only u were with me right now...