confused about?

EHEM!*clearing throat*
Dear, what are you confused about?
Me,You,Us,Him?
tell me...i will be your listening ears..
tell me about anything..i dont mind..
=)
if you want us to be friends like before, i am ready to oblige as long your are happy.=)
because i love you.i am ready to sacrifice.

FIFI.

have i or have i not...

im still confused with myself..

no wait..

im not..

i dont think soo...

gosh!

some things are better not to be say out or written down..

neither it is to be heard by others..

time will tell..

-hush hush-

i love u muhd firdaus

i really really do..

*huggs n kissess*

dear bloggy...
i love myself soo much right nooww...

yesterday something special happened..
and i cant forget about it..
cuz i simply love it...

hmmm...lets start...

met firr!! at 2...
cuz he when prayers at mauwaddah...

his 2nd motive is also to fetch me..
ahahha...right3 ??....

we left for orchard..
singapore is too small yet big...
18 years living in this country..
seems like i've went everywhere...

so yeah..we when orchard..
we stop at dhoby ghaut...
then walk all the way to orchard...

its reeeeeeeaaaaalllllyyy fuuun to have him around..
born to be noisy is it bii ??
but still..i love it..

we then went to the new shopping centre..
nope its not ions..its orchard something...
beside robinsons..
we check out the place..
its real modernized!...
classy...

we went all the way upp...
at level 7 or 6..we went outside...
the view was magnificient..
what more..it was quite...

he wanted my cam...
i gave..
deng enuf..he only took my pic...
then when i took a pic of my reflection..
said i was cam-whoring...
im like...HEELLOO!!..girlls mahh!!!

anyway...
we then walk walk to paragon...
to taka..
gave up walking...
chill for a while at taka..
then i thought of going marina...
but naahh!...desided not tooo..
soo we went vivo instead..

arrive at vivoo...
we went all the way up and out to the outdoor area..
u knoow the place where there's a soo called "pool"...
yup2..
we sat at the shelter area...
right at the toooopp....
ahahah...

we just chill..
talk crap...bullshit..
well, as alwayysss....
then fight fight...
god knows what the heck we fighting about..

one moment we can be sweet to each other...
next..abit violent..
well..esp me..
ahahha
dont know how he could actually tolerate my attitude...
hmmm..
still wondering...

nvm...most impt thing wasss....
there was one moment...
and the moment i will never forget...

he was sitting beside me...
but decided to sit a level down...
soo sat facing up to me...
he wanted to ask something..
but too shy...
soo he sms...
ahahha....
but yar..wasnt romantic at all..
so decided not to respond...

told him to speak up...
cud see he tried to braven up..
took my hand..but...still..
too shy..
wat the heckk!...

in the end...
he whispered..
aahhahhahahah
i still remember his exact word...
"i know who am i..i have nothing to offer you right now...but my heart..
i love u soo much...are u willing to me more than a syg ?"...

i wass sooo freaking touch although it was not romantic...
like AT ALL..
but still...
i dont care...

and yeahh!..
i gave him a kiss..

read properly..
it was MEEEE who gave the first kiss..
im still shock with myself...
cant believe i did that..
and the consequence..
broke my fast...
thanks!...
another reason was..
he tempt me..
ahahha

im HIS now!!..
shhhsss..
blloggy shudd not tell any human being!!..

then we had a fightt..
funny rite..
just got together..
already in a fight..
well its not a fight lar..
its becuz of me alsoo..

in one day...
u can ask him how many times i gave him a slap..
countless..
righhtt ayg..

and yeah then donnoe what was in my brain...
i hit his head..
he was mad..
IIIMMM REAAAALLYY SOORRIIIEE AYYG!!..
ii tak sengajer..


well at first he didnt accept the appology..
soo.i act lah..
step angry..
(padahal aku yg carik pasal)...

but he still went after me..

i dont know hoooowww he cann tolerate it sehh!..
i made him veryy irritatedd...
mess up his hair..
slap him..
(ps..he thought he cud make me irritated..he LOST)
i made him angry..
but yet...
he patiently control himself...
wow!!!..
all the more i will love uu ayg...

at last we had a drink at starbuck..
then left for home..
sent mee all the way to my level..
soo sweet of euuu...
*touchhed*

sooo yarr...
thats all..

AYGG!..I LOVE EUU SOO MUCH..
AND I MISHH EUU...
hehe..
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING...
FROM BEING SOO PATIENT...
TO LOVING ME with SOO MUCH LOVE...

and yeshh i cant wait till 28 SEPTEMBER..
triple happiness for me...
first..MY 18 BIRTHDAY...
second...OUR 1ST MONTH..
third...i think IM GONNA GO AND START LEARNING HOW TO DRIVEE!!!...
WOOOHHHHOOOOOO...

haishh..
i didnt mean to hurt uu DeaRDeaR..

i want to talk to u...
if i was given the freedom n time..
i want to talk to u from dusk to dawn...


once..twice...
i didnt call u..
god knows why..
i felt like i missh talking to uu..

do u feel it too ??
or maybe was it just me ???...

im really sorrieee...

the first time...
i didnt know u would wait for my msg...
checking ur phone every hr till 6 am...
u should have actually msg mmee again!!!!...

n the second time..
u waited till 1 for my call...???
i fell asleep waiting for ur msg...
goshh!....

ive been really tired lately...
im really sorriee!!!
i felt real bad for making u wait...


hmm...
i dont know what with me...

its only going to be the 2 mths sgl this 10 sept...
and im already contacting with another guy for the past few weeks...???

gosh nurul..
what happen to uu...

have i really forget about him???
have i really move on ??
or am i just using fifi ???

nooo...
nooo wayy...
i not using anyone to forget anyone.!!


fifi...if only u knew what i feel for uu....
every time u say that u love me...
i felt touched...

but never i thought that i too could fall for it....
thought i was strong enuf to resist uu..
resist the power of all those words...
i kept telling myself not to have false hope...
for i was scared they are just another lie...

but...
in the end...
its still uu i want...


baby ur the sweetest, the craziest, the nottie yet goodie type...

for the first time..
i fall for ur crappiness...
i fall for ur bullshitness...
i fall for ur craziness...

slowly..without myself realising....
i fell in love with ur nottie yet good boii attitude...
i fell in love with ur faithful heart...
i fell in love with ur loyalty towards me...
i fell in love with ur patience...

DeaRDeaR....

Mianhada
Saranghanda....

ive said it...
im not gonna say it again..

its up to u to believe it or not...

i dont know y i feel incomplete...
a feeling whereby....somethings amiss..

even i dont know wht is it....

nvm..forget it....
maybe sometimes....u just have to wait till time tell its story....

anyway..
EXAMS COMING IN 1 DAY...

wow!!...what more...it is the
SEMESTRAL EXAMINATION!!...
die die must excel..
or else....
--------------------------------

gosh!!...dont want to sit for supplementary exam!!..
its gonna be very troublesome studying over again things that i hate..

like lloyd said...

what ever u want to do..u still have to pass it...
cuz if u hate the sub...u pass it..the sub is over...
if u hate and fail..then u have to suffer all over again...

but if u love the sub..all the more u should pass with flying colors..

hmmm..

good advice lloyddy!!..
(oh fyi..lloyd is my Biochemistry Lecturer)

anyway....

YOU CAN DO IT NURUL!!..
u studied..u did everything u could..

JUST DON'T BLACKOUT!!!...

hehe..

enough of studies...

hmmm...
im wondering what is he doing now....

havent reply to my msg yet..

gosh!.hope he's still not shagged after long hours of working.....

nvm....
maybe ard 12 he'll reply...
just wait n see...

well hey...
guess what...
dont need to wait..
here comes the reply...
wooohooo...

ahahha..

ok im off..
chaos!!...

i dont know why am i soo angry talking to u today....

i have this really irritated feeling....

is it because of jealousy ???

but that's impossible...

i dont love u...

neither u're mine...

was it because u were too tired that u keep saying vulgars ??

maybee..

although they were not shot at me..

but seriously...

if u're me..and the other party keeps flowing vulgars just because he is sooo damn tired...

wud u like it ??

maybe its just me....

i never like people saying vulgars unecesserily...

it just make people think lowly of uu...

gosh!...

im really sorie...

my tone really didnt sound enthu n cheery...

gosh...

nvm!...

i cant be bothered...

all i know we're just friends...

i dont know should i cry or should i be happy instead..

we are just friends...

i gave u my no...
yes i did..

we greet morning to each other...
we msg every break...
we talk every nite...

and i agree..
i love ur accompany..
u're a great friend...

but u told me u love me ???
yyy ??
yy do u fall for my personality ??

u call me syg..
u call me baby..

my mistake for not stopping...

and today...

u want me to believe u that u actually really love me ???

pllzzz....

dont ruin the friendship..

thats all i ask for...

i dont want the same story to repeat twice...

i lost one friend....

dont make me lose uu..

:'(...

omg!!...i can't believe it...

yyy...

how can this happen...

im praying sooo much...

all that u say are just words that doesnt mean anything...

and hoping its true...

let our friendship last longg kzz deardear...